Why not pay to become Indian?

Why shouldn’t the world’s richest people consider living in India anyway? What stops us from advertising the many advantages of being here if you have a few crores to spare? Representation Pic/istock

I was annoyed that Donald Trump thought it up before some of the smarter world leaders around could announce their own version of that immigration plan. A couple of weeks ago, he announced a new visa programme offering residency and a path to citizenship in America for anyone willing to pay approximately R41 crore. What a bargain, I thought to myself, given how a Parliamentary seat in some South Asian countries often costs three times that amount. This was followed by exasperation that our Ministry of Tourism hadn't come up with a similar proposal yet.

Pathways for investors or entrepreneurs to get citizenship in India probably exist, but what made this offer stand out was how openly it was advertised by no less than a President. Imagine the highest-ranking member of government hawking everything from clothing and coffee table books to dinner engagements and green cards. It was a refreshingly shameless display of moral bankruptcy that made our homegrown elected convicts seem almost amateurish by comparison.

America's golden visa plan makes a lot of sense, at least on paper. You pay the country money in exchange for the right to live and work there, while helping them reduce their deficit. Yes, the scheme may make it easier for residents of hostile countries to get in, but they will all be millionaires and we know that rich people are among the most benign members of society. Also, if residents of some Indian states (you know who you are) can pay ‘travel agents' a few lakhs to enter America illegally, what's a couple of zeroes more? Where there's a will, they will have a legitimate way. I'm pretty sure the scheme will be particularly welcome in India's most patriotic state, where I'm told entire villages raise their children to aim for life in America. Immigration is probably an intrinsic part of the Gujarat Model.

For now, I think it makes sense for India to implement something like America's scheme as quickly as possible, given how millions of people are already beating down our doors to try and get in. If America can charge Rs 41 crore, I'm sure India can get away with at least half that amount in exchange for the right to live among the world's kindest, most peaceful people. I don't think we should mention the right to work, because unemployment is a touchy subject, but the ability to live where non-existent labour laws allow home delivery apps to thrive ought to count for something.

Why shouldn't the world's richest people consider living in India anyway? Doesn't Bombay already have more millionaires than most other cities? What stops us from advertising the many advantages of being here if you have a few crores to spare? Look at the luxury apartments in sought-after spots like Upper Worli and Lower Cuffe Parade. Imagine redeveloped, improved locations like New Nalasopara and Upper Govandi, and the marketing campaign writes itself.

The last time we told the world that India was worth visiting was during our Incredible India campaign. Environmentalists may say that a lot of what that campaign showcased has disappeared because forests and lakes aren't as important as townships and mines, but that doesn't mean we don't have anything else to offer. What about our renovated Parliament buildings in Delhi, or the public art that makes every junction in Bombay a joy to behold? What about that massive cricket stadium in Gujarat or Cubbon Park in Bangalore where you can even read a book on weekdays if you have permission? Who wouldn't want to pay R20 crore to call this country home?

I believe the need of the hour is for us to start hyping ourselves up the way America has always done with impunity. Its citizens routinely refer to it as the greatest country on earth, casually dismissing its history of warmongering, poor gun safety laws that lead to the highest number of child deaths in the developed world, or its massive inequality that routinely pushes millions of its citizens into bankruptcy if they happen to fall ill. Nothing stops us from doing the same thing and playing down our own history of bigotry, illiteracy, or racism.

The government needs to step in and follow Donald Trump's lead. If that country can allow a convicted felon and rapist to represent it and proclaim its greatness, what stops us from being as shameless if it's in our best interests? It's not as if we have a problem electing criminals to power.

When he isn't ranting about all things Mumbai, Lindsay Pereira can be almost sweet. He tweets @lindsaypereira
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