I hate that she is hyper-critical...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been friends with someone for a long time, but I have also come to the conclusion that she isn't genuinely on my side. We meet on birthdays and other occasions, she calls every other month to see how I am doing, but she also spends a lot of time criticising my choices. I don't want to be in her life but, at the same time, I tolerate it because I don't have too many friends and don't know how to make new ones given how old I am. It feels as if I must accept her despite everything only because we have been friends for so long. Is this a smart decision or should I try telling her change? I don't want any drama, but it is too much to handle at times.
You are both adults and should be able to discuss how you feel without fear of repercussions. If you don't like her criticizing you and don't say anything about it, you aren't drawing boundaries or setting expectations. To expect her to understand what you're going through is unfair, and friendships evolve only when there are clear lines of communication and mutual respect. Also, being with someone just because you have known them for a long time isn't reason enough unless you feel that her presence in your life matters. Ask yourself if a superficial friendship is better than not having one at all and reconsider your approach to meeting people. Age has nothing to do with building new bonds.

My ex-boyfriend recently blocked me on Facebook, which was a shock because we ended our relationship amicably. I wanted to stay friends, but he clearly doesn't. Should I call him and ask him to reconsider?
If you were the one choosing not to be in touch with him, would you want him to persist? He has made a decision and, as someone who isn't in a relationship with him, you must respect it. All you can do is hope that he changes his mind.

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