It's not always possible to be at the top of the ladder. Here's how to deal with not being the best and feeling good about it
We witnessed victories, experienced exhilaration, and watched as a few tears were shed. More importantly, we witnessed the making of history.
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And, with a spectacular carnival-inspired closing ceremony, the Rio Olympics finally came to an end.
Shivani Manchanda
Did you wonder what happened to those athletes who reached the finals but failed to clinch that shiny gold medal?
How do they deal with the feeling of getting so close and losing out? Similarly, how would we react when faced with a similar situation in our lives?
Dr Anjali Chhabria
Wave stress goodbye
The Olympics is where we get to witness human endurance at its best. These are athletes who have trained long and hard through most of their young lives, all to be able to compete in what is considered the world’s biggest and most respected sporting event.
Dr Shefali Batra
Using the Olympics analogy, psychiatrist Dr Shefali Batra, co-founder of InnerHour and founder of Mindframes, explains, “The person who wins the gold medal will obviously be over the moon, while the bronze medal winner will be glad that s/he made the cut. However, it’s the one who places second who is always most upset. I call it the silver-medal syndrome.”
Dr Batra thinks it’s only natural to get stressed when you know you’re competing with someone who’s great at what they do. She says, “Take students, for instance. They’re not under pressure when they’re looking to score just enough to pass. However, there is an immense amount of pressure on them when it’s the first ranker they have
to compete against.”
Incidentally, Dr Batra is currently the mental coach to a national level badminton player. “Although a good player, she gets stressed when she’s playing against, say, last year’s champion.” Her advice to the young woman and others in a similar situation is to never doubt their abilities.
“If you’re capable and already among the best, you deserve to be at the top. And if you give your best and, despite that, someone else wins by doing an ounce better, don't let it bring you down. After all, it was a fair game.”
The key to not letting failure get to you, says Dr Anjali Chhabria, psychiatrist and founder of Mindtemple, is to remember that the game is bigger than you. “The badminton match between PV Sindhu and Spaniard Carolina Marin is a great example. Every time Marin slipped up, she smiled. She didn’t let her loss of points affect her game. At the end of the day, you need to bear in mind that you’re competing only with yourself,” she says.
Motivate yourself
Shivani Manchanda, director, Career Track, says, in an acutely competitive environment, it only stands to reason that there will be moments when we will not make the cut and bag top spot. The best way to handle the situation is to keep things in perspective. Positive self-talk and self-compassion are two ways in which you can get rid of self-doubt, which can threaten to overwhelm you at a time like this.
“You can combat self-doubt by remembering your past successes, the amount of effort you put into the task and giving yourself the credit for having done your best. This is a positive way of ensuring that you keep working hard and give your best when the next opportunity comes your way,” adds Manchanda.
Reverse Failure
1. Do your best and don't doubt your abilities
2. Combat self-doubt by remembering past successes
3. Compete with yourself, not others
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