A toolkit for well-being

Is anxiety and fear for your loved ones stifling your daily life? An expert suggests a few simple exercises that can help you cope with the uncertainty of the times

Regardless of whether or not you contract Covid-19, the pandemic has triggered a wave of mental health concerns. Uncertainty about the future and helplessness about the situation has resulted in an alarming rise in the number of cases of those battling mental health issues including anxiety and depression. “There is a pattern of anger and frustration, which comes from a place of not being able to control what’s going on. I call it the ‘crazy eight’, where people jump from being helpless to angry to helpless again. Relationships are getting affected because all of us are suffering emotionally and we take this out on others. Hurt people will hurt others; a happy person won’t do that. So, it’s important to look after our own happiness so that we don’t end up hurting others,” says success coach, and mental and emotional fitness expert Anand Chulani.

Anand Chulani

Having recently conducted a session with the doctors of the NESCO Goregaon jumbo centre to teach practical methods of caring of their mental and emotional wellness, he shares simple exercises that you can practise to take care of your emotional well-being in these difficult times.   

Focusing on the positives

Chulani says that it is important to separate your beliefs from false hopes and never mislead yourself. The accuracy with which you gauge the situation will give you a vision of what life can be. “The mind encourages the body to go ahead, and if the captain of the ship is saying we have lost, you will sink. Say to yourself every day, ‘I control my mind; my mind does not control me.’ Our mind is a computer, and the act of thinking is like a Google search to seek answers. So, if you need to change your focus, focus on your thoughts. Control the questions you are asking yourself and instead of saying, ‘I can’t do this or that,’ think, ‘How can I help? How can I give my best?’ Take care of yourself so that you can take care of others,” Chulani says. You will never suffer from compassion fatigue if you start with self-compassion, love and care, he adds: “You need to understand what a person is feeling, but not feel it yourself, since two sad people cannot help each other out of their sadness; what you need is heartfelt understanding.”

Death of a loved one

We develop a fear of the future when we feel helpless about not being able to control it, and feel that things are happening to only us. “None of us are victims; life is not happening to us, but for us. We should not get into a state of learned helplessness or feeling like a victim. Instead, when a loved one passes away, build your courage every day by asking who you must become now. What can I do to grow further in life? Think of that member who’s passed away and the values they lived by. Make a commitment to them and to yourself, that you will live by those values, honouring their spirit so that it remains alive in this world even after they’re gone,” says Chulani.

When questioning everything

“There is good questioning and bad questioning; the latter causes self-doubt. You need to ask questions that further expand who you are; ask what you can do to build your life once this is over. There is nothing wrong with questioning, especially when going through a global crisis. First, realign and reevaluate what is important to you. The desire to live in the pre-pandemic world as we knew it stresses us out, but we must remember that our previous life, too, didn’t always work out,” Chulani reasons.

Students stuck at home

Chulani emphasises that parents should not be afraid of talking about Covid-19, but should discuss it as a life lesson in courage rather than the disaster that it is. Use this time to develop courage, determination and self-belief in children, so that they can seek the same in themselves, later on in life. “Students are in the prime of their lives, with a lot of dreams. Remind them that their dreams are not being denied, just delayed. Every day, reconnect with that dream, close your eyes, visualise it, make it real for yourself and believe it, and make sure that you make it happen. It’s easy to seek instant gratification, but we are not entitled to everything. Sometimes we need some faith, persistence and courage,” he adds.

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