It seems as if he knows what he wants, and if a relationship isn’t a priority for him, you may be setting yourself up for more pain even if you do get him to go out with you
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am a normal, average guy who tries his best with relationships but always fails because I seem to be attracted only to troubled women. This has happened repeatedly since I began dating a few years ago, and I am increasingly wary about meeting anyone new because it feels as if things will end badly. I don’t have any misconceptions about anyone before I get into a relationship but, somehow, whenever things become serious, it’s always with someone who is struggling with some issues. I don’t even know if it’s my fault, if I’m giving out this vibe that only draws troubled people to go out with me. What should I do? How do I get into a normal, healthy relationship with a normal person?
You are putting the onus of a relationship on the other person alone and blaming yourself for who you are attracted to. Why not concentrate on what you want out of a relationship, take time to see if you are compatible with someone, and then commit to something? There’s nothing wrong with dating a person who is troubled, given how most people have to deal with some form of trauma in their lives. It doesn’t mean a relationship can’t work because everything that involves two people can be resolved with patience, kindness, empathy, and communication. If you are attracted to someone, use that to your advantage and think of what you need to do to try and understand them a little better. Also, if you presume that every relationship will end badly, your pessimism is already causing you harm.
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A guy I really like says he likes me but not enough to want to get into a relationship with me. How do I change his mind?
Successful relationships involve people who want to be together. It seems as if he knows what he wants, and if a relationship isn’t a priority for him, you may be setting yourself up for more pain even if you do get him to go out with you.
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