Politics in dating: Is political opinion a determining factor while choosing partners?

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"Everything is political" is a popular saying, indicating how politics permeates every aspect of life from economics to social settings. But does it also influence personal relationships, including dating preferences?

The people of Maharashtra are heading to polls today, with many being first-time voters. As the role of voting in determining the future of a region and society in general gains more prominence, many people now consider political awareness to be a non-negotiable characteristic in potential partners while dating.

Amyra (name changed), 29, believes that her partner shouldn't be ignorant about political and social issues that plague everyday life. "I would want my partner to have an opinion on political issues. Something might not affect us directly, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't have a voice. I have been voting since I was eligible to do so, and I would expect my partner to do the same."

According to a survey by Bumble from November 2023, singles today seek partners with shared priorities who not only care about social causes but also actively engage in them. The report found that 69 per cent of the Indians surveyed are more attracted to someone who actively engages in societal issues and votes. Exercising one's fundamental right to vote is a green flag for Indians. In fact, 20 per cent of respondents said that it was a major turn-off for them if the other person did not have an opinion on key social and political issues.

This trend is especially prevalent in younger generations. According to the same survey, more Indian Gen Z (15 per cent) than millennials (12 per cent) said they will not date someone who doesn't vote.

While there's a growing percentage of people for whom politics is a determining factor while dating, for others, it isn't a priority. "It's okay if the person I am dating doesn't have a strong political opinion," says 22-year-old Aryaman Bharadwaj.

Dating someone with different political views

Is it just political awareness or does political orientation also matter for daters?

Explaining why knowing your partner's political views is important, relationship counsellor Ruchi Ruuh says, "Political orientation often reflects a person's core values, beliefs and priorities in life. As we now live in a politically polarised world, knowing your partner's views is crucial. It helps individuals understand their perspectives on important societal issues, decision-making approaches and long-term compatibility."

However, she adds, "It doesn't necessarily mean you have to agree on everything, but awareness can prevent potential misunderstandings and conflicts. Even if you are an apolitical person, your partner's values and choices do affect your life in the long term."

It is due to this reason that Amyra believes in discussing politics before getting into a relationship. "What the person believes in and cares about matters to me. While I would prefer to be with someone whose values and beliefs match mine, dating someone who has a different political opinion than me is something I wouldn't mind exploring. However, the person shouldn't force his views on me, and be willing to have healthy conversations on politics," she shares.

Aryaman is of a similar opinion. "I don't have an issue with someone having a different political opinion than mine, but the person shouldn't be an extremist. If we are discussing politics, it should be a healthy discussion where we both share our thoughts and insights, and it shouldn't turn into a fight," he says.

While some people don't mind accommodating differing political views, for others, similar beliefs may be non-negotiable. "Some people prioritise shared values and may struggle to connect deeply with someone whose views are opposite theirs. Some individuals find it difficult to introduce their 'different political views' dates to their friends, just to avoid differences and difficult dynamics. Few others might see differing views as an opportunity for growth, expansion of their knowledge, intellectual challenge or greater diversity in the relationship," shares Ruuh.

What challenges may one encounter while dating someone with different political views?

Ruuh shares the following potential challenges:

1. Individuals might feel uncomfortable with political disagreements and incompatible values, which may lead to frustration or a sense of disconnection.
2. It can also create external pressures, such as differing views on family traditions or social issues.
3. Individuals might find themselves struggling with communication challenges that might result in heated debates and unnecessary resentment.

How then can one navigate such situations?

Some people may want to make their relationships work despite these differences. Ruuh has the following tips for them:

1. Identify and emphasise shared values, like mutual respect, kindness and a commitment to understanding each other's views.
2. Setting early boundaries by agreeing on how and when to discuss political topics may avoid unnecessary conflicts.
3. Empathising with the other's point of view is important. Just because they have an opposing opinion doesn't mean they are completely wrong. Listen actively to your partner's perspective without immediately reacting or judging.
4. Accept that some topics may remain unresolved and that's okay; one can agree to disagree.
5. Focus on areas where your views align or collaborate on shared goals outside politics. Dating isn't just about political or social outlook; emotional intelligence and compatibility are a few things that can be focused on.

Also Read: Maharashtra elections 2024: What does Mumbai's Gen Z want from political leaders?