I’m still hesitant about moving...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My boyfriend has been speaking about moving to another city because he has been offered a promotion. He wants me to move too, which I have been considering, but not sure of. We have been in a relationship for two years, and I think we have a lot in common, but we also have some differences that have emerged over time. If I move with him, I have to uproot myself, build new connections, and look for a new job, while trying to manage this change in our relationship. Is it worth it for me to take all this trouble, or am I risking the relationship if he goes and this turns into a long-distance thing? I don't want to lose him, but I also don't want to make such a drastic move without understanding all the implications.
Please help.
Waiting until you have figured out the implications is the sensible thing to do, because your worry about losing him implies that this relationship isn't as solid as you would both like it to be. There are challenges associated with most long-distance relationships, of course, but they can all be dealt with if your foundations are strong and you are both committed to making things work. If you have doubts, moving is a bad idea because you will have enough to manage without focusing on your relationship. It makes more sense to deal with one aspect of this at a time, find a job, re-evaluate your timelines, and see how this relationship evolves after he moves. Distance often leads to clarity, which may be a good thing for you both. If he isn't willing to consider this option, this may not work because no important life-altering decision can be made by either of you under any kind of duress. Tell him what your concerns are, list the pros and cons of moving, and try coming to a solution that works for you both. It shouldn't be difficult if you are both cognisant of what the big picture is.

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