Long-distance is not for me...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am in a long-distance relationship that has been going on for over a year. I love my boyfriend a lot, but this situation isn't going to change for another two years because of his work commitments. I am often lonely and don't know if I can maintain this even though we have no significant problems between us. A few weeks ago, a close friend of mine was chatting with me and casually asked if I would ever consider dating him. I didn't react because I had never thought of this possibility, but I have been thinking about him a lot since that conversation. The advantage he offers is that he lives in my city. What if things with my boyfriend don't work out two years from now? Am I putting my future at risk by being with someone who isn't even here?
Proximity matters, but not as much as your feelings for the person you're with. What defines a solid relationship is love, commitment, communication, and trust, without which things don't last very long. It will be impossible for you to predict what life with be like two years from now, of course, but what you can do is evaluate how things stand and ask yourself if your relationship is giving you what you think you need. Also ask yourself if you are drawn to this friend only because he happens to live in your city. Being honest with yourself, as well as your partner, is the only way to decide.

My ex-boyfriend is engaged to someone and is going to marry in a few months. He has invited me to the wedding, and I don't know if I should go because I am still upset about how our relationship ended. He wants to be friends, but I don't think I can. Am I being petty?
No, you're accepting how you feel and acting upon those feelings. Time may change them but, for now, focus on your mental well-being and don't do anything you're not comfortable with.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com