If she isn’t willing to go along with what I want, should I abandon all hope that we can get back together?
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My ex-girlfriend recently reached out saying she wanted to get back with me. We were together for two years before breaking up, and she began dating someone else soon after. I love her and miss her, but she says she won’t leave her current boyfriend until she believes we can resolve our issues and set new boundaries. I don’t know what this means. If she wants to try getting back together, I believe she has to be single first. I don’t like the idea of trying to make this work while she is still with someone else. I told her this and she said it was not an option. If she isn’t willing to go along with what I want, should I abandon all hope that we can get back together?
If your ex-girlfriend can’t start with a clean slate, this isn’t going to work. A trial-and-error method makes sense if you are both single and willing to try, but her arrangement ignores the fact that there is a third person involved, for whom this isn’t fair. If she is willing to try and fix her relationship with you while withholding this information from the person she is currently dating, you have to ask yourself if this is someone you can build a future with. She may believe her reasons to be sound, but you cannot try and repair a relationship without first agreeing to meet on neutral ground.
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Is it normal for a partner to make an online dating profile while being in a relationship? My boyfriend did this and, when I confronted him, said it was just for amusement. Am I overthinking this or just being prudish? It feels like cheating even though I know he has been faithful.
If his idea of amusement isn’t the same as yours, he needs to acknowledge and accept that what he did was wrong. Cheating isn’t always about the act because the intent should also be considered. There is no reason for him to have an online dating profile.
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