If you can both figure out whether this has a future, you can start to talk about what needs to change, and when
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am a 27-year-old and have been dating a guy who always says I am too sensitive. He doesn’t like arguing with me because he says I blow things out of proportion. The result is we have a relationship where it feels as if he pretends to agree with me on everything just to avoid any friction. This has been going on for months and I am starting to feel as if we have no future together because he is afraid to express himself. I am not saying I am not at fault, but if this is his only way of coping, I can’t be with him for much longer. Is this a harsh opinion or should I be more patient and hope he will change?
Change doesn’t occur in a vacuum, and knowing what the problem is empowers you to take certain steps. You can be sensitive, but you can also try and understand what he means by it and how it affects his ability to be vocal. If he can’t handle confrontation, he needs to know how you feel about his agreeing with you on everything. The best way to do this is to have a chat about how you both see this relationship and where it is going. It’s obvious you are not getting what you want out of it, so he needs to know that. He also needs to ask himself if this situation works, and how he thinks it will evolve a few months from now. If you can both figure out whether this has a future, you can start to talk about what needs to change, and when.
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There is something wrong with me when it comes to relationships because I feel as if I am always too intimidating. I don’t do this on purpose, but I am told it puts people off. What should I do?
If you are being told something by multiple people, it may be time to listen and get a better sense of what they’re saying.
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