There may be a perfectly rational explanation, and your qualifications may not be an issue at all. Speak up
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I was recently checking my boyfriend’s phone when he wasn’t in the room, and found some pictures of a woman I don’t recognise. They weren’t suspicious in any way, but there were a lot of them, which upset me for some reason. I know my boyfriend is not cheating on me because I trust him completely, but I also know that he has deliberately withheld information about this person, which makes me feel as if there is something going on that I know nothing about. I don’t want to confront him because he will take it the wrong way and assume I am accusing him of something, but there is no way for me to find out unless I ask a direct question. Should I just ignore it and give him the benefit of the doubt?
If you could give him the benefit of doubt, this wouldn’t bother you as much as it clearly is. if you have something on your mind and want answers, you should be able to ask your boyfriend a question without him thinking of it as a problem or an accusation. Healthy, strong relationships are based on open lines of communication, not fear of asking each other legitimate questions. The easiest way to resolve this is to ask him who the person is and why he has never mentioned her before. To avoid the issue and assume it will magically go away only leads to resentment and misunderstanding, both of which can and should be avoided.
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A few days ago, my boyfriend told me that he has never told his parents about what I do or what my qualifications are. I think he is ashamed of me, and I don’t know how to react. Is this a relationship that has no future?
Why assume the worst about your boyfriend when you can simply ask what he has told or not told his parents about you? There may be a perfectly rational explanation, and your qualifications may not be an issue at all. Speak up.
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