If she rejects the idea of a meeting, or a conversation, you may have no option but to accept this or hope that she changes her mind
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My partner’s extreme jealousy is straining our relationship in all kinds of ways, because he can’t stand the idea of me speaking to another man. He suspects male colleagues, old friends, even people we meet at parties because he has some problem with his past relationships. I love him a lot and there is no other issue between us, but this is getting out of hand because I worry about how he will let me live if we ever get into a committed long-term relationship. It is the only reason I don’t have a conversation about the future with him. I don’t even know how to bring it up because, if I do, he will only start to be more suspicious and question everyone I speak to. How do I fix this?
You can’t fix this without telling him how you feel and pointing out that he has no choice. Being envious or possessive is not a crime, but making choices that impinge upon a partner’s personal life is not okay because it implies that he owns you in some way. If he has a problem with you speaking to other men, that is his problem alone. The onus of coping with it is not on you. If he believes this is okay, and you feel as if you can’t be yourself, this is not a relationship built on trust or mutual respect, without which a strong, healthy relationship is impossible. Have it out with him, say exactly what’s on your mind, and point out that a future together hinges solely on his ability to grow up.
ADVERTISEMENT
I got drunk and said something embarrassing to a girl I have a huge crush on. I don’t know how to make this okay. Please help.
You can come clean and message her to apologise and ask for an opportunity to explain your behaviour. If she rejects the idea of a meeting, or a conversation, you may have no option but to accept this or hope that she changes her mind.
The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com
