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If he doesn’t understand, tell him why he needs to work on it because this is his problem, not yours. If he wants to be with you, accepting who you are is critical
Illustration/Uday Mohite
Is it a sign that something is going wrong between us if my girlfriend rarely tells me that she loves me? She used to say it more often early on in our relationship, but we have been together for three years and she has to be prompted into saying it only when I do. We love each other a lot, and I don’t doubt that she cares for me, but I worry that letting this go may be the start of a slide and we may lose interest in each other. Should I insist on her saying this to me even if she doesn’t feel like it, or am I reading too much into this? If nothing is wrong with the relationship, am I giving her words
too much importance?
This isn’t about giving words any importance as much as it is about expressing a need and asking for something. It’s okay to want her to tell you that she loves you because that is a need we all have. She may not feel like it if she believes her actions are enough, but you can still ask her to express it if it makes you feel better. At best, ask her to explain why she doesn’t feel the need to say it as often as you do, because sometimes we believe that our actions speak louder. If your relationship is steady, there is nothing to worry about, but these honest conversations can only bring you closer together.
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My boyfriend doesn’t take into account the fact that I am very sensitive, and always asks me to toughen up and be stronger. I can’t change my personality just because he can’t cope. How do I get him to see this from my perspective?
Empathy takes time but is critical for the well-being of any healthy relationship. If he doesn’t understand, tell him why he needs to work on it because this is his problem, not yours. If he wants to be with you, accepting who you are is critical.
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