I am so confused by his words...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

A few weeks ago, I met a guy at a party, and we got along well. We are both single and I got the feeling that he was flirting with me. He asked for my number, and we began chatting a few days later. Things have been great between us, and I get the feeling that he likes me a lot. The funny thing is, I asked him out over the weekend, and he said he had a date. I am confused because it feels as if he meets other women, but he hasn't asked me out yet. He didn't even suggest that we meet another time, so I don't know what to make of his flirtatious comments. We still chat, and he still says things that make me feel as if he wants to ask me out, but there is nothing said. What do I do about this? I can't tell how he really feels, and it is making me feel a bit stupid.

You have asked him out and he hasn't reciprocated, which is all that matters. The easiest way to figure out where this is going is to ask him a direct question and decide if you want to stay in touch. Flirting is fine only if you are both okay with the way things are, not if it makes you feel as if you want more from this friendship. If he can't make a decision, the onus of staying in touch is yours alone. If this is meant to be platonic, that is great too, provided you are okay with the arrangement. Either way, you should discuss the flirtation and what it is meant to imply, because it is unfair to you.

Do I ask someone out online or in person, given that she is very shy?

That depends upon how well you know her, and how comfortable she is in your presence. If you aren't that close, messaging her may make it easier for her respond, and allow her to be more honest.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com