27 February,2025 06:41 AM IST | Mumbai | Dr Love
Illustration/Uday Mohite
When is the right time to get physical with someone in a relationship? My boyfriend and I have been dating for a month or so and he has been asking me to consider spending a night with him at his place, but I have been putting it off because I don't know if that makes him feel I am too easy. He is not being pushy, but I know he would like me to stay with him. I don't want to be a prude, and I have no problem having sex with him, but I want to wait for a while because I think it will be more meaningful. I really like him a lot and want him to take this relationship seriously, so being intimate too quickly may make it seem as if I am being casual about the whole thing. I am confused because my friends think I should just go ahead with it without overthinking everything. Their argument is that he will take this more seriously if I commit to sex. What do I do?
This isn't about being prudish or casual about sex as much as it is about your feelings for this person. There is no right or wrong time to get intimate with someone because you and your partner alone can draw those boundaries based on how you feel in the moment. If you want to be intimate, you should, provided you are both happy about the idea and comfortable with it. If you have doubts and want to wait, irrespective of how frivolous you assume your reasons to be, you should take that seriously and wait until you have no misgivings. Relationships grow stronger with time and openness, so talk to your boyfriend about how you feel, allow him to be honest with you, and let this happen in as organic a manner as possible. You will both take this relationship seriously only if you start to value each other more, and physical intimacy is only a small part of that.
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